defender of quality

and yes...

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 14:35:44 GMT

i did spend an additional 30 mins to spruce up a new look. not sure if i like it or not, but i'm crawling to bed now.

what brings me back

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 14:11:21 GMT

i'm not sure exactly. i look at my last post and shake my head. has it been 4 months already? damn time flies at a blink of an eye. so for those of you who remember me, hello, how are you doing? for those of you who have no idea who i am, hello, how are you doing? i'm not sure why i'm writing this close to 7 in the morning. hell, anything you do in these hours are always questionable. i guess i'll start off in what i've been doing lately.

work has been keeping me busy. for those of you intersted, i'm not a game tester at blizzard entertainment. trust me when i say its not all that its cracked out to be. my shift is from 7pm - 4 am. not that all testers get this shift, but the new ones do. don't get me wrong however. i love my job and all that i do. its just so hard explaining to people 'what' i do. here is a usual conversation.

a: so what do you do?
me: i work for blizzard.
a: wow! so you get to play video games all day?
me: no, i test them.
a: so whats the difference? you get to play it all day right? you get paid for that?
me: no, i don't actually get to play through the game. i have to test on certain sections or whatever checklist i have to run.
a: but you get to play games all day right?
me: *deep sigh* let me tell you an example of what i do. since the game we are working on is going to be available on the pc, i had to spend 2 days making sure that every key on the keyboard is able to be mapped to a command. for example, i have to make sure every key on the keyboard allows you to walk forward, if you so deem it.
a: ooooh. i don't get it though, you get to play video games all day.

thats when i shake my head. just because you work in disney land, doesn't mean you get to ride rollercoasters all day. i heard if we really wanted to, we could say that we work in the design department as software analysts. but thats totally one of those titles (ok only because its 7 in the morning did i read titles as 'tit less'. and yes it made me chuckle)that just comes off as trying too hard. some of my co workers get off on that though. one actually said to some random people at laser tag, "you do know i work at blizzard don't you?". wtf is that supposed to mean? your also overweight and barely fit in your gun pack. some of my coworkers... thats definetly something to bitch about in another date.

i miss va, as most of the people... er all save guts are from it. it really was a happy little moment in my life. don't ask me why, but i don't feel like i could go back. its as though everyone has moved on, and i was just another face. don't ask me where, why or how i got this assumption, for i have no answer.

i just realized i left my game over wristband and some headphones at work. they better be there when i go back. speaking of va however, i got to go to blizzards recording studio to try out for some lines. it was so awesome, to be in a sound proof room, put on the professional head phones, and talk into one of those big circular microphones. i could hear me putting my hands in my pockets, thats how sensitive it was. it was really cool because the people talk to you through your headphones so you don't feel too much pressure and all you need to do is read your lines. i think i read mine a bit fast, but hey i was damn nervous! one of my friends got to be a sergeant for the game, ghost. but he has a deeeeep ass voice so thats understandable. no part for me yet. i'm totally banking on a small part in worlds of warcraft. that would be too awesome. i could be like... talk to that human. yea thats me!

seriously, during the weekdays there is no way for me to fall asleep when it is still dark. the sun is always up as i move my ass towards my bed, like i should do right now. if you made it down to here, then i thank you and bid you goodnight.

ink

Fri, 26 Mar 2004 18:56:38 GMT

i've always had this my own interpretation of drawing tribal style. i've also always wanted my own tatoo. so the other day i was bored and wanted drew some designs on myself. its weird once i get started thats when the design comes to me. i just see what needs to be added and what would balance the entire design. since lj won''t let me put the pictures here, i guess i'm going to have to send them in links.

arm

leg

raed tihs

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 21:58:50 GMT

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a ttoal mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Fcuknig amzanig huh?

its cold.

Tue, 23 Mar 2004 21:07:58 GMT

just realized that i haven't posted in a while.

so i finally have things to do now, new found interests. been playing a lot of frozen throne. the story is great. i can't wait to get into the wow beta. i picked up a new book as well. theres a character in the forgotten realms series that i always wanted to learn. yes, the dark elf drow named drizzt. i first came across him when i beat baldurs gate for the ps2. i'm like.. whos this? it was then i learned of him. so the great thing of reading books that came out years ago? you can buy the huge collectors edition for cheaper and one huge book. so here i venture into icewind dale.

i have to go to court tomorrow for jury duty. yick. wake up at 7:45!!! i can't remember the last time i did that. prolly have to wake up at 7 just to be safe. i'm gonna dress all scummy so they won't pick me. yes i can find an excuse not to attend, but its a difference of 8 months of them not bothering you or 3 years. i'm going for the latter.

puts on the creative cap

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 22:23:38 GMT

so i'm writing a short story for a radio play. it seems like the vaa is way too bubblegum for my tastes. its time to stir up the pot a bit as i'm used to doing. dark, profanity, wrong in many levels. its a beautiful day outside. methinks i'm gonna go jogging later.

my head hurts...

Sun, 14 Mar 2004 23:15:31 GMT

man what a fucking night last night. went to a bar in sunset and met up with a friend i haven't seen in about a year. actually it was with a bunch of my old roomates back in college. it was really nice seeing everyone again. same faces, catching up with everyone. funny how people stay the same. so a night of drinking, dancing and chatting. it was pretty fun. met some girls in the table within our group. why is it that whenever you meet a cool chick, she's taken. why is that. anyways it was still a great night, had much more to drink then i thought and payed for it this morning.

woke up and was like... ok i think its time to pay tribute to the porcelain god. its been too long. the great thing about praying to the porcelain god is that he can be reached in any bathroom. so i got down on my knees, closed my eyes and let myself a moment of silence. then the wretching words of prayer started while i knelt there. dry heaving is probably one of the most uncomfortable things ever. you literally feel like your stomach is being rung like a wet rag, all the while letting air out and not being able to breathe. take a short breath and have it start over again, and again, and again.

so laying there on the couch, i call up another buddy to see if he wants to go eat. actually i couldn't really stomach food but i got to see everyone but him. so we're in his car, as i told him i couldn't really drive. lookin for a restaurant we stop in a little plaza and we see that the place we wanted to go eat was closed. he was about to pull out and i'm like.. no dude.. pull over. i'm gonna go puke. so i brace myself in front of a lamp pole, luckily this was a quiet plaza not too many people about. and then bleeaahh. i swear it was the scene out of the exorcist. i didn't realize i drank so much liquid between now and before. it was not pretty. so there i am puking in public, my friend leaning on his car smoking. it was a interesting scene.

we get back to my buddies place and he watches some tv while i took a little nap to try and recouperate. it was then i realized thats a sign of good friendship. that you don't need to be constantly talking about stuff. we caught up already, talked about whatever, and thats enough. its cool that you can just share silence with someone and not worry about it. he just left and my headache has subsided. i think i can go for another nap tho.

peeling scabs

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 23:20:00 GMT

gloomy days make me reminisce. so what else is greater to reminisce about then losing someone you were so close to. i don't want to say love, i never said it to her. and no thats not the reason why she isn't with me anymore. she's the one that made all love songs come to life. she's also the one that made break up songs as true as they are. there is a vow of silence between us. i wonder if she thinks about me as i do her. she has a bf, our last conversation was that things were getting patched up between them. where would i fit in that place.

it fit before.. so why not now.

come on shawn. lets not kid ourselves.

no margaritas

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 21:08:22 GMT

this is coming from the guy who was complaining about the weather earlier this week. where did the sun go!!! why coudln't you last till the weekend!! i was going to have some carne asada and drink huge margaritas today! i've been craving those huge margaritas. 2 of them makes one feel goooood. and then smoke a nice cigar afterwards. now its all over cast with a slight nip in the air. there goes my plans.

i did a really needed cleanup on my computer, brought it downstairs and outside then en-dusted the hell out of it. when the air first went in, it looked like a little bomb went off and the smoke just shot out in all directions.

going up to irvine this weekend to get sloshed. its been a while. should be good times. the most i've ever drank in my life was with this cat. it was his birthday and the thing to do was bring crown over. i killed a bottle, he killed one, we shared one, and god knows what else we had that night. needless to say i can't drink whiskey anymore, but i still do on his bday. *shudders*

this makes me think of people who like to brag how much they can drink. if someone ever asks me, "hey you seem like you can drink. can you hold your own?" i always reply that i'm alright. there will always be someone who can drink you under. always. drinking shouldn't be something to brag about. its all about having a good time. hell i wished i was a cheap drunk. instead i have to buy drink after drink to get a buzz.

anyways now that twin snakes is over and done, not sure what i'm going to do now. *looks at his copy of war3* hmm...

grumble

Fri, 12 Mar 2004 19:13:32 GMT

so 9 hours and 40 dollars more in debt, i ask myself if mgs tt was worth it. granted it was an awesome experience, but that was about it. 9 hours worth of experience. yes i should beat it with otacon this time, (ladies first) but thats not going to be anything really new. some things to gripe about now that i've completed it, the music is just not to par. it has been totally dumbed down which bothers me. whenever i got caught, i didn't feel the sense of urgency as i did before. i think they focused too much on visuals and forgot how important a role of music is to help the mood. i'm listening to the original sound track and going.. thats how its supposed to be. makes me actually want to play the ORIGINAL mgs again rather the new one over.

i can't creep anymore

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 23:55:59 GMT

i think i found out my problem with metal gear. i used to be able to go around undetected, unseen. now everytime i get caught or spotted, i feel like quitting. its like i can't just go hide and let them not find me. i have to now play a perfect game. its the damn perfectionist inside me. damn you!!! *shakes his fists at himself* i just feel like i used to be so good at this game, and now i'm not, which is somewhat of a failure and makes me angry. one of those.. i used to be's, now i'm not, screw it. very childish i know. so, if i can get over this i think i will be fine.

sigh

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 23:17:04 GMT

what is wrong with me. i've been stoked on getting mgs for a long time now, i play like not even 10 mins of it and i get bored. its like that with almost any game i play nowadays. i just get bored and lose interest very quickly. i'm wondering if its because i've played this game already many times over and all i'm doing is playing a graphixed up version. or am i really just not as interested in things anymore. maybe i 'should' have gotten ninja gaiden.

the touch of spring

Wed, 10 Mar 2004 18:51:43 GMT

my senses trigger memories. this morning while i went to take that morning piss and crawl back in bed in hopes to get some more sleep, i walked into my bathroom and felt the coolness inside, the familiar lighting which only comes during a certain time of year. it made me think that a full year has almost gone by with me still without a real job. yea i worked at best buy for a while, but i also got that job in march. damn time goes by fast. this winter wasn't cold at all, it went by fast. and they say winter is the longest month.

going to help my cousin wire internet in his room. he is so not techno savy it frustrates me sometimes. oh well, i open my windows and is greeted by a beautiful day. a nice breeze is coming to me right now and all is good. it seems like its gonna be a great one. i'm still torn whether to buy MGS TT, or Ninja Gaiden. i think i'm going to settle with MGS tho.

joyous

Mon, 08 Mar 2004 19:34:03 GMT

its fucking hot today. according to yahoo its 83 friggin degrees. all you people in the east can start the hate now. more flames = getting hotter.

has my life become so dull that i'm actually stoked about getting a haircut? for the reals tho, i think my hair is super important to me. when its long and nasty like this, i feel blegh. when its shorter and i can spike it, shape it the way i want to, i become very full of myself. presentation is attitude which is confidence from self worth. hey that sounded pretty cool. your hairstyle can say a lot about you. well maybe its because i spend so much time on mine so it justifies why i care so much about it. actually it takes me less then 5 mins to do my hair. gel, spike, done. but still, i think thats why i have a recent short hair fascination on girls. i used to love the long straight look, with bangs and ponytails. (i think i still have a thing for ponytails, so if you have one *growl*)

but back to recent fetish with short hair. if you know how to pull off a unique look, its usually (not always) done with shorter hair because you can manage it better. more is not better in this case. if you know how to manage a certain look, that means you know how to dress a certain way as well. no need for categorizing dress styles because i don't believe in it. you dress the way you feel like dressing that day. well the only dress style i have to rant about is to get your own. find your sense of style please. don't become a cookie cut out.

*slap* damnit stay focused.

*rubs back of head* ok ok.

so yea. girls > short hair > style > breaks out of the mold and becomes different from others. that aura is attractive. it shows that they are in touch with themselves, know who they are and what they want. and yes, i am reading all this in a frigging haircut. call me crazy.

back to my own. mabee i'll post up some pics afterwards. i hope it turns out well. my cousins girlfriend said she's gonna help me dye it. not sure what i want to do. dark blue, maybe purple, maybe both, maybe two shades of blue? whats up with asian guys always wanting blue hair. i think its all the anime we've watched when we were kids. yea having green hair is normal, duh.

some pennies

Mon, 08 Mar 2004 08:51:38 GMT

ok so the tired feeling is sinking into my head and forcing me to think seriously. that and i'm listening to slow songs. deseree - kissing you, if you were wondering. this song opens a whole new door of discussion which can be used for another date.

so whats the topic at hand tonight. what about people who gossip. yes, people who you think you can trust and share what you hear, they in turn go and tell someone else who then takes it and twists it to a new context just to fit their purpose. now before this goes off and sounds like high school drama, let me clarify that its household problems. you see, i'm close to my cousins. we're almost like brothers. one of them is going through a rut in life. so i share some of that information with my mom, who in turn tells his mom, using that information in a way to make him feel like shit. i had a talk with my mom already tonight, but i'm going to have to have one as well with my aunt tomorrow. everyone in the family knows that she exaggerates like crazy. reason i'm mad is because he seemed really sad, felt like a failure and dissapointed me. not so kid. not so. all is worked out for now, but when shit like this happens all the time, makes me wish i had that punching bag even more.

second thing. meeting new people. i like to meet new people, get to know them, see what their like. interesting people who can hold a conversation, have a twisted look in life is a rare thing these days. anyways, when i meet new people, get to know them better, my role of the protector kicks in. i know its stupid to think that one can always keep someone from harm or make things better. the shit the world deals us just does not work that way. but at the same time one cannot help but feel helpless, seeing something happen, knowing what it must feel like, and yet do nothing. just stand there and watch letting time takes its slow course. why does it meander when times are hard. is it because of the fact that times [i]are[/i] hard that makes us notice it more? lets not get me into thinking philosophically now. my heart and ear goes out to anyone who ever needs a soul to listen.

oh, i just figured out how to add some more stuff on this journal stuff. *twirls a finger*

2 more days

Mon, 08 Mar 2004 07:01:01 GMT

1) mgs twin snakes comes out

2) the shield season 3

lots of things to look forward too, and wayyy too much time to do it.

ctrl + i

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 21:55:41 GMT

oooh new picture. took a while to tweak it, but i think i dig it.

omg

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 19:46:33 GMT

i can't stop tearing right now. i felt something weird from my nose and i pulled it. i took out a single nose hair, yes just one. IT HURTS!!! the tears won't go away. next time i meet someone macho who doesn't cry, i'm going to pull out a nosehair and see if their really as tough as nails. >:'(

sleeping habits

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 18:31:43 GMT

i'm the type of guy where if i wake up, i wake up. no if thens or buts. so it kinda sucks that i went to bed oh.. 5ish in the morning and got up at 10. my head hurts so much.

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 23:16:01 GMT

rage meter 93%

i want to break something

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 23:11:51 GMT

i hate talking to people who are indecisive. you talk about something forever, set plans to do something. and then they just say no because they don't feel like it all of a sudden. THEN WHY THE FUCK DID I WASTE MY TIME IN TALKING TO YOU. jesus it bugs me. so you take a breath and work things out, they ok it, oh shit a breeze. there goes my decision again. i want to sock them right between the eye.

so..

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 22:07:45 GMT

its saturday. days have no meaning to me whatsoever anymore. its just another day. i wake up and do the following, not in this particular order:

eat
play games
look at boards
look for a job
talk on aim
play more games
read
sit on my couch
watch tv
jog
start a game and quit
listen to music
download music
oh, look theres some dust
eat
take a shower

somehow i've been living like that for the past 2 months. its kind of depressing. yea any job should do just to get some cash. my savings is getting burned up. but as a college grad and greeting people at a bookstore? "feel that knocking at the back of your head? thats pride fucking with you"

colors

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 19:24:31 GMT

damn you customization! force me to use my shoddy artistic abilities to get the right theme.

poppin the cherry

Sat, 06 Mar 2004 18:57:17 GMT

so this is my first time keeping any form of a blog. noticed that some people at vaa had them. i've always wanted to do them, but never got around to it. hell since all i have is free time nowadays, might as well. so thanks to a little drunken vixen last night, i was encouraged to set up a blog.